Baaaaanteeeeeerrrrr

[banter]The squirrel leader is running low on patience, minions. Must be the PMS... I require...


Listen closely...

...Closer... CLOSER...

Bacon.


Yes. I require bacon to continue my leadership um... Stuff. Bring me bacon. And toast. I need strawberries on my toast. And not those freeze dried ones either. No. The real shit. Give me real strawberries and no one gets dunked in coffee.

That's right. You don't want scorching hot coffee burns now do ya? Thought not.

Denver has been officially taken over by the squirrel army. Next on the agenda... We have Alaska. Yeah, yeah, there are SO many others to conquer but I figure--get it out of the way so the minions don't freeze their little tails off later.


They'll still freeze, just... It'll be done so they don't have to dwell on it.

So that means... I requiiiirrrrre... COFFEE! Lots of warm, warm coffee. The squirrels won't be used to it since they're used to being dunked in it as punishment. But they'll go for it if I say there's pixie stix in every mug.

Went to Sams today... Saw tons of pixie stix for cheap. Stock up on those and tootsie rolls and the army will be good to take down Alaska's walls by next week!

Yes... World domination is sounding oh so sweet right now. I can taste it. Wait, eew, that's not world domination, that's dirt. How in the hell did I get dirt on my mouth? It must have been one of those squirrelly pranks. DAMNIT. I hate it when they do that.


I SHALL TAKE MORE OF THEIR PIXIE STIX RATIONS FOR THAT BLASPHEMY!

They'll complain about it, oh, they will. But they'll learn from their mistakes. They'll learn not to cross the squirrelly wrath leader when she's PMSING!! They'll be sorry and never do it again. BULL. >D I'll just dunk 'em all in coffee after they've stopped bitching about their lack of sugar to press onward.

If they get too hyper, they go to the padded walls. But these things breed like bunnies, it shouldn't be a problem to get more minions.

BREED.

BREED LIKE HELL YOU FURRY FUZZBUCKETS! BWAHAHAHA!

Okay. I think my banter has run out of juice.

[/banter]


~「яiC@♡｡」 aka Squirrel army leader and head sugar dealer